February Resolutions

by Kirsty McKenzie

Now that January is FINALLY over can we get real about our resolutions? Fun to say, not so fun to keep is usually how I think of them. Plus I’ve never really been one for moderation so usually it only ends in tears, guilt and be covered in a whole box of empty Lindt wrappers.

Isn’t January depressing enough without restricting yourself to kale and no wine? So here is what I propose. February, the shortest month of the year, is a far better time to kick of this new year, new me business. And instead of setting the bar too high with one big overwhelming resolution let’s do baby steps. 28 days, 28 challenges, 28 ways to feel like a better human. What could possibly go wrong?

  1. I’ll start easy on you because I’m nice like that: floss.
  2. Send that email/ make that phone call that you have been putting off.
  3. Serial is over, kids. Time to find a new podcast to talk about. I’ve been recommending the stomachly aching hilarious “My dad wrote a porno” to anyone that will listen. Warning: you may snort out loud in public. 
  4. Educate yourself. Ta to the internet for making learning new skills embarrassingly easy. This nifty little website has everything all in one place. Watch, learn, grow. 
  5. Bake something for yourself. Maybe something tasty like this. 
  6. Give Netflix a break, read a book instead. Books are good for you. 
  7. Make all your own meals today and ditch the processed food. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  8. No booze today. Sorry.
  9. Let yourself off the hook for something. Like the wine you drank yesterday.
  10. Call a parent. Offer something instead of asking for something.
  11. Enjoy the holy trinity that is the Desert Island Discs archive, a cup of hot tea and a slice of cake. This will solve literally 99 per cent of problems. Start with Zadie Smith, Bill Nigh, Jamie Cullum or Lynn Barber. Hell listen to them all.
  12. Let someone else win. This may be the hardest thing on this list.
  13. Exercise. Whether at the gym or in your hallway as your flatmates sleep give these youtube tutorials a try. This Pilates tutorial is amazing. So is this one.
  14. When your alarm goes off this morning, focus on yourself not others. That means no email, no Instagram and no sidebar of shame. We see you DM lovers.
  15. How about no coffee? Dare you.
  16. Give yourself a gift. This can range from a sleep in, an actual lunch break that you never take, or an outrageously expensive magazine like this. Your call.
  17. Do some more exercise. A different kind to what you did last time. (28 things is a lot, OK). How about some restorative yoga?
  18. Take a new route to work or wherever it is you go each day.
  19. Buy a piece of card. Fold it, draw on it, write in it and give it to someone who matters for no other reason than you appreciate them.
  20. Donate to charity, buy a Big Issue. Work that little sexy Samaritan vibe.
  21. Delete that person who always makes you feel shitty from your phone. This might be an ex boyfriend, or even a frenemy that has let you down an exhausting number of times. You don’t need that in your life.
  22. Go for drinks after work. Sit beside the hot guy you’re too afraid to talk to. Sit beside the less hot guy and take the time to talk to him too. 
  23. It’s February and winter is really beginning to lag. Reach for bronzer and apply drawing the number three from temple to cheek with your brush. Learning this changed my life. I’m not ashamed to admit that.
  24. Sore back? This pose daily please. 
  25. On any major life changing decision, consult your 17 year-old-self. What would she/he think or feel? If the answer is “AMAZING” definitely do it. Even if that involves taking a giant pay cut to do something you’re passionate about or sleeping with a slightly greying Charlie from Busted.
  26. If you live in a big city, understand that in order to not lose your mind you need to get the hell out. If you’ve had a week of feeling crappy for no reason, that’s what it is. Catch a train somewhere green.
  27.  Learning the difference between empathy and sympathy (and canning the latter for the former) is one of the best skills you could learn. This cute video explains.
  28. Call don’t text.

Done! If you don’t feel exactly as elated and amazing as Beyonce post her 22 day Vegan challenge well then I don’t know how to help you. Do it all over again I guess.